


Vessel

by the_casual_cheesecake



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Vessel talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2014-06-25
Packaged: 2018-02-06 05:56:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1846930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_casual_cheesecake/pseuds/the_casual_cheesecake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas muses about his being</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vessel

**Author's Note:**

> I published this on tumblr, but i cleaned it up a bit. I hope it's comprehensible. enjoy.

When Castiel walked into the Winchester’s motel room for the first time after he rose the eldest from the deepest pit in hell, it was the first time he ever saw himself. 

Dean was asleep and Castiel felt it unwise to wake him, so he sent a slither of grace into the man’s dreams and waited for Deans’ frail human mind to realize the invasion and wake, he glanced around the little room and his eyes caught jimmy Novak’s form on a mirror.

The reflection astounded him, he found himself starting at it for what seemed ages, unmoving, and it suddenly copied him as he blinked. He felt the nerves in his right arm responding as his hand came up to touch his face.

Jimmy Novak’s hand touched his face in the mirror, and for the first time Castiel realized that this was how he looked; anybody that he met anywhere he went on earth, eyes would look at him and they would see a blue eyed man in a trench coat.

Those blue eyes kept staring transfixed at him all the way across the room, Jimmy’s fingers moved and Castiel felt them on his lips, his nose, his eyebrows, and a strange smile adorned his face; Castiel unconsciously took a step toward his reflection, and the blue looking back at him with wonder came closer. The look turned to comprehension as the fact that for the first time since his creation he had a shape to describe himself with registered. 

In his father’s heaven he floated for thousands of years, and his mind had never been aware of his own self, his grace is light, love, forgiveness, wrath, and to his mind that was enough to define what he is. Castiel suddenly found himself understanding Dean’ sense of worth and of the need to have free will a little more. as if summoned, Dean’s startled gasp broke his trance.

Castiel had forgotten all about the mirror, until the day that Dean kissed him, it was three years later, and the emotions running thick through his entire being jolted his thoughts, Dean’s mouth and hands were giving sensations to parts of him his consciousness never even connected with his being, his hands wrapped around Dean’s neck holding him closer and suddenly Jimmy’s hands felt like his.

Dean’s mouth traveled across Castiel’s torso and with every point they touched, Jimmy Novak’s nervous system associated them with Cas’s person, Dean eyes bore into Cas’s with so much indescribable devotion and love and the blue finally felt his. His back was being slammed into the cheap mattress and he heard his heart pounding at the same rhythm, and when Jimmy’s back arched in a silent scream of his lover’s name, Castiel felt it in the veins covering his entire being.

When Dean was asleep hours later, Cas’s legs carried him towards the bathroom, he stood naked and watched his body in the slightly distorted and chipped mirror. To every speck of skin his eyes spotted, his memory provided awareness, knowledge of Dean colliding with himself, of the man unwinding him and binding his grace to his consciousness.

When he lay back next to Dean, pressing a kiss on the back of his neck, his own neck prickled and he grinned, the muscles feeling strange having not been used for some time. At that thought, his grin grew wider; Dean had defined his vessel for him. He hid his laughter against Dean’s skin, Castiel finally felt whole.


End file.
